Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
