but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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