I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
