just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
