So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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