I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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