if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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