writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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