yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
