it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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