Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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