I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
