Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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