she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
