I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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