it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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