I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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