is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have aggressive nipples.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
