Moan for me like Helen Keller
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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