this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
