We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
organizing the empties. That sober.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize