He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I will be naked everywhere
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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