I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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