are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
