you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
