why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
They took my balls.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
