so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
