He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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