CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i've created a new STD.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
