I wanna passion pit in your ass
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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