Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
