I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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