JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
