i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
