She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so let's talk penis.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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