glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize