The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
