her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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