I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
