you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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