Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
