his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
