Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
