Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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