I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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