I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
