i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
