I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
