for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
