Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Houston, we have a squirter
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
