careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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