dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You made out with two different species that night
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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