what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
