I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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