do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
