Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Holy sore nipples Batman
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
