I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
