Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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