Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
